Dealing with Conflict (Part Four)

Improving communication

 Like anything, interpersonal communication can be improved through practice. Use the following tips to improve your interpersonal communication skills.

 

1. Use feedback

Two-way communication allows both sender and receiver to search for verbal

and non-verbal cues (eyes, body movement etc) in order to establish

understanding.

 

2. Use face to face communication

Accurate feedback is nearly always achieved more efficiently through face to face communication rather than over the telephone or through written means.

 

3. Be sensitive to the receiver’s situation

Individuals differ in their values, needs, attitudes and expectations.

Empathising with those differences will improve our understanding of others and make it easier to communicate with them. 

4. Use direct simple language

The more accurately that words and phrases are tailored to the receiver’s situation, the more effective the communication will be.

 

Communication openers How often would you use these phrases?

1. May I ask a question?

2. Before we make a decision, let’s review the options

3. I suggest we do not eliminate any options at this point

4. Can we stop for a second and look at the way we’re approaching the problem?

5. I’d like to go back a step and clear up something I don’t quite understand

6. I hope we don’t have a case of group think here

7. I’ve been hearing about (x) recently. Do we have any information on it?

8. I don’t know much about that. How about you?

9. Were you aware that …..?

10. Maybe we should reconsider your approach

11. This idea might sound a little strange, so let me explain the whole thing first

12. I have an idea I’d like to share sometime

13. Would you tell me more about what you just said

14. Let me ask for some ideas on how I can go ahead with this

15. Here’s a half-baked idea. I don’t know how it will strike you but I’ll share it with you

16. What other ways can we think of?

17. If we followed your idea through, what difference would it make?

18. I hadn’t thought of tackling it that way. I’d like to know more about it

19. What strengths in what we are doing does your idea tap into? 20. What sorts of options might our competitors be thinking about?

 

Possessing good interpersonal communication skills is one of the great strengths of an effective official

Listening

Active listening is more than just hearing.

 

Attending

Builds closeness and trust

Sends signals without words

Consists of the following behaviours:

S face the other person squarely

O adopt an open posture

L lean slightly toward the other person

D at a distance apart of about 1 metre

E keep good eye contact

R try to be relaxed

 

Understanding No word(s) mean exactly the same thing to any two individuals.

Paraphrase

eg This is what I understand you are saying …

or I think you mean …

Note: responses should take account of their feelings i.e. don’t just repeat their words like a parrot. Beware not to send your own message

 

Five good listening tips

 

1. Listen attentively

All gestures and facial expressions should show acceptance and attention.

2. Listen reflectively

Repeat what was said. The official, by restating in ordinary speech what the competitor said, is able to check that the content of the communication was understood. It also enables the official to check the feeling of the competitor’s message was correctly interpreted.

3. Avoid emotional responses

Have you ever noticed how listening stops when an exchange gets heated?

4. Try bridging

A nod of the head, a throaty noise without words or an occasional “yes” helps the listener to know you’re tuned in.

5. Don’t interrupt

Don’t interrupt means don’t interrupt!